When you start a relationship with a new partner and you have toys you have used personally or with another partner, is it ok to use the same toy from partner to partner? Toys can be expensive… ranging from $20 to hundreds even thousands of dollars so to just toss them every time you start a new relationship can really add up. But is it OK to use a toy that has shared intimate moments with another lover? Well, it depends on you and your partners preferences.
Toys are made from many different materials and some toys are easier to clean that others. Toys made from jellies, rubbers, and plastics are more porous that toys made from silicone, glass and metals. Because these toys are porous, these toys should not be shared with a new partner. Good news is plastic and jelly toys are usually inexpensive and shouldn’t cost too much to replace. I also don’t recommend toys made from these materials as they contain phthalates which can cause cancer. So, what about Silicone, glass, and metal toys…. can they be used with a new partner?
Adult toy cleaners today are amazing. They are strong enough to kill all the bacteria and sterilize your toys without damaging the materials used to make your toys. If you are using regular household cleaners on your toys, these can actually damage your toys and even harm you! People often use antibacterial dish soap, rubbing alcohol, throw their toy in the dishwasher or even boiling water to try to clean and disinfect their toys. These options are not effective for many reasons. Soaps often leave a residue behind and that residue can really mess with your PH levels inside the vagina. Just because something is great for cleaning your skin or your dishes, doesn’t mean it is PH balanced for your body. Harsh cleaners often used in anti-bacterial soaps actually breakdown the materials your toys are made from; causing cracking and pitting to the material. These cracks and pits become a place for bacterial to harbor and grow making it extra hard to clean while bacteria hides in small cracks. Putting toys in the dishwasher or using boiling water exposes your toys to very high temperatures and can melt inside components, damage motors and weaken the materials used on the outside of your toys. Only glass toys can be boiled and sterilized without damage being done to the toy.
Investing in a great toy cleaner is affordable and necessary. Toys need to be cleaned before AND after use unless your toy is being stored in a bag with anti-microbial lining to keep your toys clean between use. By placing your clean toy in an antimicrobial bag, this prevents dirt, dust and other things from contaminating your toys between use. This also eliminates the need to wash your toy before use as you toy is clean and ready to go. Even if you are not using toys with a partner, a great toy cleaner is still necessary. These cleaners can prevent things like reoccurring yeast infections that you might otherwise give back to yourself by not cleaning the toy between uses and the bacteria can live breed and grow on your toy if not cleaner properly. A great cleaner will keep the toy free from bacteria and be gentle enough to use on all materials today’s toys are made from.
To some people, the whole idea of using a toy that has been used with another lover is just plain gross. I have heard women say that they wouldn’t want anything that has been used in other women inserted into their bodies. Does that include their new partners fingers, tongue or penis? Where is the line drawn? Why is it ok to for a body part to enter a vagina but not a toy? This is why this topic is controversial; some people have very strong feeling about this, and other’s only say good hygiene in important.
So back to the question at hand… can you use a toy from a previous relationship with your new partner? Once you know your toys are clean, you should decide together with your new partner if you feel comfortable using them together or starting over fresh with new toys. This really comes down to personal preference. Some people are concerned about sterilization, and to some people it comes down to respect. Always ask your new partner what they are comfortable with. Maybe they won’t want those toys to be used at all, maybe they will only want those toys used on you and not themselves… maybe they are fine with it all because they know the toys have been sanitized. They best way to know is to ask. This question comes down to personal preferences as a toy that has been properly cleaned can be used with a new partner. But before you introduce any toys into the bedroom, new or previously used, you always want to have a conversation to find out what your partner is comfortable with.
What do you think?